To the Land Of Oz We Go…
by Rotachi the Ichthyomaniac
Summary: This is a fanfic for my Onee-chan, Ionia Greywers-Metallium. ^^ It's a Wizard of Oz parody with her as Dorothy...^^ It's rated R for language...so please don't the rating scare you away! ^^;; NEways, read it, onegaishimasu!! ^^


To the Land Of Oz We Go…  
  
By: Zasuki Rotachi (Rotachi Gaav-Metallium)  
  
A/N: This is something I'm writing for my Onee-chan, mainly because I wan't to and stuff. It's got her in it as the main chara so gomen to ppl who don't like that, demo I still think it's kinda funny…demo, I'm at school and running outta time so ja ne!  
  
Disclaimers: Ano…don't own them…blah blah, gotta go…  
  
  
  
One day there was a little girl named Ionia. Ionia was a small, simple girl who lived in a small, simple place. She had a dog, Schuldich, who was her bestfriend. He wasn't really a dog, just a really big whore…but that's okay, he can be a dog for now…^^;; Well anywhoo…(I love that word…Anywhoo ^^;;) the two lived a pretty dull life together (although when they were apart Schu…uh, nevermind..^^;). It was all very dull, until one day a big red storm cloud/tornado thingy named Manx came and whisked them away to a far away place called Oz. (And no, it's not the prison..although some think Schu should be there ^^;;)  
  
The two happened to be in their house at the time of the whisking so when they fell to the ground of Oz, there obviously was some casualties… Yeah, the house happened to fall on this little girl named Tot, and Tot, not being too smart when she saw the house, didn't move, only stared at it in awe…therefore the house crushed her little biddy spinal cord, snapping it in two, instantly killing the brat…errr, girl.  
  
Ionia and Schu stepped out of the house.  
  
"Gee Schu, this doesn't look like Ohio anymore…"  
  
Schu sweatdropped. "Maybe they remodeled it?"  
  
Shrugging, Ionia began to look around. There were little people all about and among them were two slightly taller boys, one a blonde and the other a brunette; a tall dirty blonde haired man (in a rather skimpy white leather get up…^^;;) was not far form them. All were staring at the two who had just arrived.  
  
"You…you killed the wicked witch Tot.." The brunette stammered. And although two dwarfs, about a dozen singing flowers and one of the Lollypop Gang were among the count, only one was really noticed…Tot. (*author shudders*)  
  
Ionia and Schuldich looked behind them at the dead girl…or at least what part of her that you could see sticking out from under the house…  
  
"Whoops?" Both sweatdropped. Ionia scratched the back of her head nervously. "We didn't mean to…she just kinda got in our way when we fell…"  
  
But the little people and the two boys and the tall whorish looking man all surrounded Ionia and Schuldich and…thanked them! They thanked them very ver much! (And so does the author ^^;;)  
  
"I'm so happy! I'm finally ….free!!" The brunette tear rivered in joy. And it was a happy time then, they danced and ate and were marry and…and where'd Schuldich and that tall guy go? (*author sweatdrops at a corner..*)  
  
So anyway, after the cheery party, Ionia and Schu began to get a little homesick. Well, just Ionia really, Schuldich was having quite a bit of fun with his new blonde play…toy…(*sweatdrops*)  
  
"Ne, Schu? I wanna go home…I miss my Goku plushie and my Imoto-chan and my Ben & Jerry's 'From Russia with Buzz' ice cream.."  
  
Schuldich took a drag from his cigarette and sighed. "Can't we stay a little bit longer? I'm having so much fun here…"  
  
Ionia made a most kowai pouty face. "No, I wanna go home NOW."  
  
"Alright alright…we'll go, sheesh." He turned to the blonde man-whore in the white leather get-up, now known to be Yoji. "Ne, you know the way outta this joint?"  
  
"Yeah, just head down that yellow brick road over there and take a right at the flaky scarecrow soccer dude, be careful of Aya, the wicked witch of the West, he's a real bitch."  
  
The short blonde boy, Omi, shook his head disapprovingly, then leaned over to Ionia and whispered "Lover's quarrel.."  
  
Ionia just smiled and nodded like she knew what he meant. Schu sweatdropped.  
  
"Okay, well then, we're gonna go now….ja."  
  
"Ja ne minna-san! Sankyuu for all the yummy food!!"  
  
"Matte!" They both turned around to see Yoji and the brunette, Nagi, and Omi trying to pry a pair of shoes off some little dwarf person.  
  
"Fuck you you cocksuckers!!" The little dwarf was shreiking. "I got to them first motherfrucker!!"  
  
Schu held Ionia's ears. Ionia blinked.  
  
After getting the shoes ffrom the dwarf, Yoji handed them to Ionia.  
  
"I know they're not all that fashionable, but I'm posta give them to you….it's like, in the script."  
  
Ionia looked at the blood red sneakers.  
  
"Ano..?"  
  
"They're all magical and stuff, they should help you on you're…journey."  
  
"More like hell trip.." Nagi muttered.  
  
Ionia, not hearing Nagi, quickly put the shoes on, mummbling something about looking for some red sneakers for a cosplay.  
  
"Arigato gozaimasu!"  
  
And so Ionia and Schuldich set off on the yellow brick road, onto their weird ass, trippy as hell, magical journey to home. 


End file.
